The Human Community

Part I

Raising a child is hard. It is one of the biggest undertakings in life. As a father, I am very aware of the onus I have in raising a responsible, compassionate, loving, forgiving, and happy person in my son. Everything that he encounters will impact his life, society, and the planet. Granted, there are very important jobs that people do that impact the same; however, you can't become an adult without going through childhood first. Therefore, being a parent is the most important role in human life. The second most important role is teacher. Everyone of us is a teacher, whether you realize it or not. It is the teacher aspect that molds and defines the human community. We as human beings need to take our blinders off and stop treating life as a soliloquy and start paying attention to each other.

Currently, my son is four; the world is full of new discoveries every second. Due to life being a gambit of bridges and obstacles, conflict resolution is something that comes up frequently. Naturally, I am a human being, so I'm not infallible; yet, I still make the effort to guide my son. There are times when my son is playing with friends or with a group of playground mates and a conflict arises. Early in fatherhood, I would step in and try to stay the disagreement; however, upon sage advice from my wife, I now let him and the other children 'figure it out' among themselves. 80% of the time, all is well. The other 20% is a major factor in shaping how your child responds to conflict and stress. I believe, that if I continually jump in the middle of my son's conflicts with other children, then he will never learn how to resolve them. He will not learn how to compromise, deal with his anger, or even seek help. Helping children with conflict resolution is an obvious way to circumvent bullying. The only time I step in is when it is obvious that the conflict will become physical. Sadly, our children do not experience bullying only from their peers, sometimes they experience it from their parents, other family members and other adults. In part two I will go into what I believe that parents, other adults, and peers can do to be teachers.

Edmund

You can follow me via these links:
twitter.com/edmundstarbanks 
facebook.com/edmundstarbanks

2013 Personal Challenge

The Journey Continues

Part of my personal challenge of 2012 was to give up ice cream for the year. I am happy to say that I was successful in doing just that. Another was to lose 20 lbs. Unfortunately, I fell short of that goal. Honestly, I got lazy and complacent with my eating and exercise. Just as with previous years, I will give up an indulgence for the year, but I am also going to commit myself to getting healthy in my eating and regular exercise. My son is getting older and I want to be around when we are attending his children's weddings. I don't know what I will be giving up for the coming year, but I do know that I am going to commit to exercising a minimum of three times a week, gradually cutting out foods high in preservatives and unhealthy fats, pursuing endeavors that enrich my life and following my dreams.

I owe this to myself, my family, and to people who look to me as an example-good or bad. This coming year, I'm not going to focus on a number with relation to weight loss, but more on being healthier. I have a number I want to get to, but I'm going to make decisions based on enriching my life and showcasing me as an example to my son and others.

Godspeed and thank you for support; past, present, and future. Join me on my journey. I would love to hear from you and what your journey for 2013 will be.


You can follow me online via these links: Google+: +Ellison S., Twitter: http://twitter.com/vicavicmusic

Thief By Proxy

Consumers like Emily White are the new Robber Barons

I'm sure by now that most of you have read Emily White's stance on the consumption of music and whether or not she should pay for it:-as well as David Lowery's response. Let's get the full disclosure portion of this post out of the way. I'm an independent recording artist, producer, and label owner. Unless you're very close to me, you've haven't heard of me yet, because I'm still paying my dues. I've read both posts including a varying allotment of the ensuing protagonist and antagonist remarks.

What Emily did was stealing, plain and simple. She stole from artists when she marginally pirated music from Kazaa, freely and knowingly gave her iPod to her friend so she could get it back full of music she didn't pay for, and then she stole from her employer and artists by burning promotional CDs onto her computer while on the job. She made a muted attempt at a mea culpa by stating how she came to the realization that she could not support her favorite artists by only buying T-Shirts and concert tickets. She further defends her actions by simply stating that she wants a convenient way to easily access her music so she and people like don't have to resort to unethical tactics to get the music they love. David Lowery covered the ways she can legally access music so I will not add to that. Similar to most things in life, technology is a blessing and a curse. The exponential rate of growth and innovation within the internet age is amazing, and I am eager to see what we (human beings) come up with next.

Unfortunately, as we progress technologically, we seem to digress morally-by this I mean that lessons that should have been imbued as children, either were not taught or were forgotten altogether. Stealing is wrong, lying is wrong, being mean to others is wrong, and anything else your parents, sound minded adults,  or mentor told you is wrong; yet there are always a few bad apples that choose to eschew these morals.

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror
I am happy that President Obama has recently come out in public support of Gay Marriage. It's very refreshing that the President sees this as a human issue and not a political or religious one.

Unfortunately, the people of North Carolina have recently voted to ban Gay marriage and all civil unions. They even went on to define marriage as only between a man and a woman. The problem, however, is that people are using their misguided faith to rob people of their rights. People really need to utilize their empathy chip, because I believe that will allow them to see marriage for what it really is; everyone's right regardless of faith, ethnicity, physical attribute, race, creed and everything else that doesn't matter except the fact that they are human beings.

I am a black man. Both of my parents are immigrants from two small villages in Ghana, West Africa. My father was in the U.S. Army for over 20 years and my mother has been a government employee for over 20 years as well. I can only imagine what they endured when they initially came to the U.S. with their thick accents, dark skin, and simple traditions. During my childhood, they imparted on my brother and I lessons that stay with me to this day and that I will definitely teach my son.

My wife is multi-racial/multi-ethnic, and obviously, so is my son. The gift here is that I can tell my son that he has no room to be prejudice or hateful towards anyone because his makeup is everyone. My wife is of Spanish/Mexican and Irish/Scottish descent. She is fair skinned and to society she is viewed as Caucasian. There was a time in the not too distant past that our marriage would have been illegal, our son a bastard, and our lives at risk. Simply because at that time, ignorant people believed that it was unnatural for Blacks and Whites-and anyone of non-Caucasian appearance-to fall in love with each other, marry each other and create a family together. The idea of interracial/inter-ethnic couples disgusted many at that time-and unfortunately still does for some idiots today. Couples would have to meet surreptitiously and if they were ever discovered, the consequences were senseless and at times demonic. We've all heard of Emmet Till who paid with his life for flirting with a woman. Unfortunately for him the woman was white and it was 1955. His story is no different from Matthew Shepard who was murdered simply because he was gay.

There are many instances of people using faith, religion, idiom, and so on to justify their hatred and heathen 

I am grateful that the founding fathers knew the limitations of their time and designed the Constitution to allow for amendments to change it in accordance to the present and
right the wrongs and/or missteps of the past. Without that foresight, I would still be viewed as 3/5 of a person, my wife would not be able to vote, and my son would have grown up in slavery.

Based on those points, there is no way that I, as an African-American, will ever be for anything that infringes on the rights of others. The plausibility of a stance contrary to equal rights for all people is unnatural. Before you cast judgement and aspersions towards gay men and women who deserve the same rights us heterosexuals take for granted, stop and look in the mirror. Regardless of your gender, race, and what makes you who you are; reflect on this:

There was a time..

1.  when having slaves was acceptable
2. when Blacks and Native Americans, were not viewed as people but as livestock-hence the stock markets.
3. when women could not vote.
4. when Blacks and Caucasians could not eat, sleep, relax, or learn in the same place (Jim Crow laws)
5. when Fortune 500 companies, Ivy League Universities, Banks, Hospitals; etc could openly and publicly deny me service and access with no repercussions 
6. when my son could have been put to death at birth
7. when Caucasian women who dated or married non-Caucasian men risked death, rape, mutilation, and being ostracized
8. when I could have been castrated just for appearing to glance at a Caucasian woman.
9. when women could not go to college
10. when Blacks, Native Americans, Asians and other non-Caucasians would fight and die in wars to kindle and protect the rights and freedoms of oppressed foreign people only to return to the U.S. and not have the same rights and freedoms afforded to them

Below are some items I believe should be known, re-read, understood, and discussed. 

-Edmund Starbanks

1711 Law Appointing a Place for the More Convenient Hiring of Slaves
Source: Minutes of the Common Council of the City of New York, vol. II, 458, December 13, 1711
Be it Ordained by the Mayor Recorder Aldermen and Assistants of the City of New York Convened in Common Council and it is hereby Ordained by the Authority of the same That all Negro and Indian slaves that are lett out to hire within this City do take up their Standing in Order to be hired at the Markett house at the Wall Street Slip until Such time as they are hired, whereby all Persons may Know where to hire slaves as their Occasions Shall require and also Masters discover when their Slaves are so hired and all the Inhabitants of this City are to take Notice hereof Accordingly.-Source





Declaration of Independence-excerpt

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Bill of Rights
Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.


United States Constitution


AMENDMENT XIV

Passed by Congress June 13, 1866. Ratified July 9, 1868.

Section 1.

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

National Archives

Practice, Practice, Habit

January 23, 2012

I am happy to report that this week I weigh in at 244.6 lbs! That is a loss of 1.4 lbs since last week with a total of 3.4 lbs for the year so far. With school starting next week and the other aspects of my life, it is going to be a challenge to fit in my exercise, but I am a creative person so I will figure something out. The challenge for me right now is late night snacking. I'm going to make a commitment to circumvent that by making my "snack" a glass of water, rather than popcorn, fruit, or whatever else catches my fancy. I'll keep you posted.

Thank you for joining me on my journey.

Ellison

Edmund's Community Corner

End of Week 1


Anyone can attest that weight loss is not easy. I began this week weighing in at 246.4 lbs. This week I weighed in at 246 lbs; so that's a .4 lb loss. As of October 2011 that's 4 lbs to date. I have to admit that when I saw a number less than two, I was on the verge of being upset, but then Saint Theresa saved the day! She told me "You know, someone once told me, 'The New York marathon is 26.2 miles, and unless you complete the .2 miles, you have not finished the marathon.'" Once she said that, I did not feel bad because life is not 'The Biggest Loser'. I will reflect on that anytime I'm on the verge of bashing myself for not meeting outcomes I cannot control. Whatever challenges you are tackling for this year and beyond, keep in mind that deadlines are hard stops and goals are open ended and life changing. Deadlines in life, I believe, are exhausting because you always have to start over once you've met it, or stress out if it's breached. Alternatively, when you set goals, they are generally something that will be ongoing that is meant to increase quality of life or uplift you from that point forward. The way I see it, businesses make deadlines, people set goals. One goal I've set for myself is to ride my bike at least once a week. So far I have surpassed my goal and I aim to surpass it throughout the year. I will continue to update on my progress with my weight loss peppered with my opinions and/or anecdotes on various topics.

Thank you for joining me on my journey and godspeed on your endeavors.

Ellison

Get `Er Done

Edmund's Community Corner

Last year I decided to challenge myself by giving up soda for the year. I wanted to see if I could really give up something I loved for an entire year. I'm proud to say that I did it; and as a result I don't drink as much soda as I used to; and thus, I've lost a little weight. Nothing to write home about, but it's interesting how much cutting out soda benefits you. I found just labeling it as a personal challenge rather than a New Year's resolution worked for me. So for 2012 I decided to up the ante by adding a "positive" with a "Negative". I am challenging myself to losing 40 lbs by Dec. 31, 2012-"positive" and I am also giving up ice cream for the year-"negative"; LOL. Currently, I am 248 lbs. My goal weight is 190 lbs but I'll save those extra lbs for the following year. I'm going to take some inspiration from my wife (check out her blog: Talula Steps Daily) I'm going to ratchet up the accountability factor by posting my current weight every Saturday to my Facebook page and Twitter feeds. Given my network of friends, colleagues and acquaintances, I believe this will help me to stay on track and bolster the fact that no one man is an island. I thank you in advance for all of your encouragement, feedback, and support as I begin this journey into making my life better and ensuring that I am around when my son becomes a grandfather. Godspeed to all of you and your endeavors and Happy New Year!

So in the words of Larry the Cable Guy, let's "Get 'Er Done!"

Ellison a.k.a. Edmund Starbanks