October 25, 2019

2019: My Journey to 190



The More Things Change...
I am no different than anyone. I have had my struggles with weight ever since I have not been required to monitor it. Now, I am in my mid forties, and the health risks associated with that are very real. Health risks notwithstanding, there are many people in my life that I believe would like for me to live a fruitful and long life. Great reasons to adjust my health habits; of course. Unfortunately, they were not my catalyst. True to form, it wasn't until I was scared straight by my body giving me what I believed to be undeniable signs, which led to the most selfish catalyst of all; self preservation.

I Saw the Light...
A week after my 43rd birthday, my body decided to tell me to shape the fuck up. My right leg went numb, and I began to see yellow spots all around me, I also felt lightheaded. I did not have shortness of breath or any other general symptoms of cardiac arrest or stroke. This occurred late at night while I was sitting on the couch. I chalked it up to fatigue and went about life. Three weeks later, I had a similar episode during the day. I decided to make a change. My biggest issue was my diet - I love chocolate, ice cream and candy -, and not making exercise a priority. 

Diversify, not Detox, Diet, or Deprive
Change was necessary, but I could not make changes that I felt would not be sustainable. I also needed to make an effort to incorporate healthy foods and habits into my everyday life. This may sound ridiculous and wildly easy, but exchanging starches for something green or lean is not easy for me. Also, adjusting my portion size continues to be a struggle, along with late night snacking since I go to bed late. 

I'm the Tortoise, not the Hare
My biggest challenge is viewing my weight loss as a journey and not a destination. Similar to most people, I voice the intent to change and want the process to be quick; if not immediate. Obviously, that is neither realistic nor sustainable. Every day is me making a conscious decision to forgo self beratement when I don't exercise as much as I would like, or eat food that is not conducive to weight loss. Recognizing that weight loss is part of the journey of life, rather than the end goal of life is a constant struggle, but it is necessary. Perspective is paramount during this journey. Goal posts will move, they are supposed to move; in fact goal posts should be transitioned to milestones. These milestones are neither positive or negative; they are learning opportunities. Milestones I view as achievements are celebrated, while the inverse, I view as lessons in self efficacy. I am a constant work in progress in all aspects of my life. I have never striven for perfection; however, I always seek self improvement - even if I am pretty hardheaded and prideful.  

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